Introduction: The Endless Loop of Self-Doubt
A few years ago, I found myself trapped in a cycle that many entrepreneurs, marketers, and business owners know too well—constantly comparing myself to others. Scrolling through LinkedIn, I’d see founders announcing million-dollar funding rounds, freelancers landing dream clients, and marketers publishing viral content. Meanwhile, I was struggling with my own setbacks, feeling like I was always a step behind.
One evening, I stumbled upon 12 Rules for Life by Jordan Peterson, and a particular rule struck a chord: Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today. That single sentence changed how I measured progress and reshaped my approach to business and life.
The Trap of Comparison: Why We Feel Like We’re Losing
Social media makes it easy to stop comparing yourself to others, but at the same time, it encourages unhealthy competition.
Why do we compare ourselves?
- Human Nature – Our brains are wired for comparison. It’s how we gauge our progress and social standing.
- Social Media Influence – Platforms like Instagram, LinkedIn, and Twitter showcase curated success stories, making it seem like everyone else is ahead.
- Scarcity Mindset – We believe there’s a limited amount of success, happiness, and wealth to go around.
“Comparison is the thief of joy.” — Theodore Roosevelt
The problem? There will always be someone ahead. Always.
The Psychological Toll of Constant Comparison
| Negative Effects | How It Impacts You |
|---|---|
| Lower Self-Esteem | Feeling unworthy and incapable |
| Increased Anxiety | Worrying about how you measure up |
| Decision Paralysis | Overanalyzing instead of taking action |
| Decreased Productivity | Spending more time comparing than creating |
A Personal Shift: Turning the Lens Inward
After reading Peterson’s rule, I changed my perspective. Instead of measuring my success against industry leaders, I asked myself:
- Was I better than yesterday?
- Did I improve even slightly in my craft?
- Did I make progress, no matter how small?
I started journaling and rating my performance each day. A 5 today became a 6 tomorrow, and over time, I saw real progress. This shift in mindset freed me from the trap of comparison and helped me focus on my own journey.
The Power of Brutal Honesty: A Hidden Rule for Growth
Peterson pairs his comparison rule with another crucial principle: Tell the truth—or at least, don’t lie.
Why Honesty Matters
- Entrepreneurs often convince themselves they’re “busy” when they’re really just distracted.
- Marketers might say a campaign wasn’t that bad instead of analyzing its failures.
- Freelancers sometimes undercharge their services instead of admitting they fear rejection.
“Your success is directly proportional to the number of uncomfortable conversations you’re willing to have.” — Tim Ferriss
To grow, I had to ask myself another daily question: Did I tell myself the truth today?
Some days, the answer was ‘no.’ But recognizing that allowed me to make real improvements.
How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
If you’re stuck in the cycle of comparison, here are practical steps to break free:
1. Create a Self-Improvement Scoreboard
- Instead of focusing on others, track your daily progress.
- Measure small improvements in skills, outreach, revenue, or creativity.
2. Limit Social Media Exposure
- Follow industry leaders for inspiration, but set boundaries.
- Unfollow or mute accounts that trigger negative comparisons.
3. Conduct Weekly ‘Truth Audits’
- Ask yourself:
- Where am I avoiding the truth?
- What uncomfortable conversations am I postponing?
- What’s holding me back?
4. Redefine Winning
- Shift from “beating the competition” to “being better than yesterday.”
- Focus on steady, internal progress instead of external validation.
Key Takeaways
✅ The only comparison that matters is with your past self.
✅ Social media distorts reality, showing only highlight reels, not struggles.
✅ Self-improvement is the goal—not outperforming others.
✅ Brutal honesty fuels growth and helps you break free from the comparison trap.
FAQs
1. How do I stop comparing myself to others at work?
Set personal goals and track your own progress. Avoid workplace gossip and focus on skill-building instead of status.
2. Why do I always feel behind?
Social media makes success seem instantaneous. Remember, real achievements take time, effort, and persistence.
3. Is comparison always bad?
Not necessarily. Healthy comparison can inspire growth, but unhealthy comparison leads to self-doubt and paralysis.
Conclusion: A Challenge for You
If you’ve ever felt like you’re falling behind, I challenge you to start today. Ask yourself: Am I better than I was yesterday? If the answer is even slightly ‘yes,’ then you’re on the right path.
Your best competitor is the person you were yesterday. Beat them. Every day.
Sources
- Clinical Partners. (n.d.). What is Social Comparison Theory?
- Seasons Malibu. (2023). How Negative Social Comparison Affects Mental Health
- Nursing Times. (2020). The Effects of Social Media on Mental Health
Let’s build a mindset that fuels growth, not comparison. Drop a comment below: How do you measure your personal progress?